What would Abe Lincoln's legendary speech have been like if he'd had to deliver it as a Powerpoint presentation instead? For those of us who have sat through endless presentations, this is funny beyond belief. (You can even download the presentation file.)
This page generates random insults from
a set of nouns and adjectives that are dropped into Shakespearean speech
patterns, resulting in phrases like, “Thou art a spleeny pox-marked
scut!!” You can also arrange to send a friend a personalized
Shakespearean insult as well, with Insults
By Mail. The Internet is a truly wonderful thing.
Wanna be glib and hilarious like Dave Barry, but have no discernable writing skills? This is
the site for you. Similar to the above, you fill in some blanks and a program turns the information
into a customized Dave Barry column. (Who has the time to come up with these things?)
A fun site that points out just how wrong brilliant people can be.
Contains stuff like Einstein saying nuclear energy will never be feasible
and Lord Kelvin saying that heavier-than-air flying machines will never
I've kept my own private stash of favorite quotations for years, but
this is a terrific site that can point you to the right turn of phrase
in no time. You can search by keyword, look at the Quotes of the Day and
Week, contribute a favorite quote, or use their links page to look elsewhere.
The official CBS site, and pretty cool -- you can do a keyword search
on previous lists. There's eight million Letterman sites out there, but
you'll have to e-mail me personally to get my own story of appearing on
the show a few years ago (heh, heh).
Closely related to News of the Weird but possibly even more sick, the
Darwin Awards are given to the individual(s) who contribute the most to
the gene pool by expiring -- in other words, they die in the most ridiculous
fashion imaginable. They've modified the rules of late, allowing people
who are still alive to qualify if they render themselves incapable of producing
children in some strange way. My newspaper pals love this stuff.
Less comprehensive than the above, but still answers lots of questions
that people who grew up on these cartoons (like me) might have. (I'm particularly
partial to the question about Yosemite Sam's reference to the old song
“Open the Door, Richard.”)